It rained. It rained today. It rained today so good. It rained today so good that at one sudden moment, I felt nothing. Nothing, but rain. I felt myself dropping down; drooping down: gravityless, boneless, toneless, emotionless. I was drenched in nothingness from top to bottom except there was no top, nor bottom. No measure: no length, no width, nor height. Not even boring and precious seconds. I was boundless, infinite. Nothing. I had no face, no colour, no race, no religion. I felt no good nor evil, no fear, nor anxious. There were no judgements, no tags, no frames, not even expectations nor ambitions. I was boundless, infinite. Nothing. I felt nothing and rain. I was the rain: calm, soothing, romantic and healing. The very next moment, I thought of you.
It rained. It rained today. It rained today so good. It rained today so good that it reminded me of the rains in yesteryears. It reminded me of all the promises, the soothing touches, the hugs and the kisses. I felt very heavy. I felt the full weight of being. The head and ears started heating, hair started standing, nostrils started puffing. The eyes started twitching and then they too rained. Slowly, steadily, heavily and abrupt. My heart started aching. I even missed a beat or two. The stomach churned and twisted. At that very moment, I tasted the full strength of my own acidic juice. I felt like puking, peeing, bleeding; all at the same time. My limbs started trembling. I felt the full weight of being. I felt twice my weight. My feet would crumble and crash any moment. I felt running away from this suffering but I had no time to act. The pain was creeping in fast and I could not even move an inch. My weight would crush myself into pieces any moment. I loathed myself, my skin colour and my ethnicity. I detested my parents, siblings, relatives, neighbours, society and country. At that moment: Fuck Religion! And, Fuck You too Science! ‘What’s all this for?’ What the hell you want from me?’ I gasped for few seconds. It was still raining. I was anxious thus angry. I was anxious and angry. I felt trapped. Just another brick on the wall. I felt caged. I felt everything and rain. I was the rain: wild, disturbing, heart breaking and damaging. The very next moment, I thought of you.
It rained. It rained today. It rained today so good. It rained today so good that I felt alive. For the first time in many many months. I felt my body, my mind, my surroundings and beyond. It rained and it stopped. The very next moment, I thought of you.